Ninjas!
by Luver.of.Pie
Summary: Dan issued a cry and flung himself at Ian, who was becoming more frightened by the nano-second...


Ian Kabra.

Dan stared at Ian, hate blooming in his glaring eyes. This was it. He would die today. Suddenly, a battle cry issued from Dan's mouth, and he ran at Ian, who was growing more frightened by the nano-second. Ian desperately tried to find an exit, but all the doors had sealed closed. Bracing himself, Ian turned around to face Dan's wrath.

Dan jumped in midair, foot flying in front of him, ready to plant it in Ian's face. Just when it was about to make contact, a frustrated scream echoed throughout the room. Dan fell to the floor, and Ian leaned against the wall, letting out a relieved sigh.

"Aww, come on, LOP! I was just about to maim his face!" Dan whined, picking himself off of the floor.

A door opened, and a blonde girl with brown eyes walked in the door that had just opened, shaking her head rapidly, her ponytail bouncing side to side.

"Daniel Cahill, how many times do I have to tell you this? No hurting him until I explain the story!" The girl said with anger evident in her voice. "Even Amy knows this! I've never had to stop one of _her_ stories!"

"This is so unfair," Dan mumbled under his breath. But LOP heard this and rolled her eyes.

"Life's unfair, Dan. Get over it," She said, crossing her arms and turning to Ian, who was inching towards the now open door. "Don't even try it, Ian. Close!" The door closed, and Ian let out a wail of despair.

"Hey, I didn't bring this on, Ian. You shouldn't have stepped on my foot that day in the park."

"What day in the park? I don't even know who you are! I went to sleep, and I woke up in this nightmare!" Ian hissed, his designer shirt all rumpled. Of course, the room was indeed a nightmare. It was round and pitch black, with a single green light shining in. It was also huge- there was no other way to describe it. The ceiling was extremely high, and when the light was turned off, you couldn't even see it. On the side of the room was an observation area, where Amy and Natalie sat, far apart from each other, and where LOP would return too after she finished explaining the story.

"That day in the park. Of course you remember. Where the sky turned purple? And the grass turned to macaroni and cheese?" LOP prompted, wondering if he would fall for it.

Thinking that LOP was insane, but knowing that she was his only way out of the room, he smiled and nodded, a gesture that would make any _normal_ girl faint. "Of course! And the water turned to fudge? What a memorable day. I'll never forget it."

LOP let out a laugh. "You big git! You'll do anything to get out of here, won't you?"

Ian nodded and smiled again, hoping she would faint and he could get out already. "Can you just faint already, like the other adoring fangirls? I'm sure you're one of them."

"You're so full of yourself. Not every girl faints at your smile, Ian. By the way, you have some spinach in your teeth," As Ian was furiously trying to get the imaginary spinach out, LOP turned to the observation area. "Amy, Natalie, do you mind if I slap him? I hate being called a fangirl."

Amy blushed and shook her head. Natalie leaned towards the microphone and spoke. "Not at all, LOP. I think he deserves it."

LOP grinned and then slapped Ian, hard. Ian's hand flew to his cheek. That girl was _strong_!

Dan turned to LOP, a grin on his face. "LOP, you're my new best friend."

The blonde grinned, again, and then said, "Thanks, Dan, but I'm sure that Little Lobster already has that claimed."

"Who's Little Lobster?"

LOP smirked. "I'll set up a meeting for you two. Anyway, back to the story. So, for you to understand what is going on, we must take a little look back in time!"

She took out a very large, black remote control, and started to look for a certain button.

"LOP, do _not_ press that button. I do not want to remember that. Do not. No!" Ian shouted, diving for the remote as she pressed a button. LOP merely sidestepped Ian, and a screen started to come down from the ceiling. After a few seconds, Dan, Ian and LOP were sitting comfortably in big movie chairs that had mysteriously appeared, watching the events that they had done earlier that day. The past Dan was sitting at a counter, eating fish and chips with a ravenous look on his face. The real Dan was staring at them and looking very hungry.

"Dan, you're drooling," Present LOP said, rolling her eyes.

The past LOP was sitting at a table, having some root beer. Just as she was about to leave, the past Ian Kabra walked into the pub. He saw past Dan, and his eyes narrowed.

"Hello, Daniel. What brings you here?"

Past Dan stood up quickly, spilling his fish and chips.

"Whoa, whoa, hold on!" Past LOP said. "No fighting, there are kids here! Besides, Dan, it's an unfair advantage. He has a dart gun, you have, er, dirty fish and chips."

"No!" Past Dan wailed. "They were so tasty!"

"Daniel, please do stop crying. It's quite pitiful." Past Ian said, rolling his eyes.

At the same time, Present Dan and Present LOP smacked Present Ian on the arm.

"What?" Present Ian said, glaring at them. "What did I do?"

"Not what you do, but what you did. You cry yourself, Ian. I know your every thought," Present LOP said, her eyes focused on Past Ian and Past Dan. "And yes, I am a bit insane. If you have a problem, speak to my parents about it."

Present Ian mumbled something.

"No, Ian, my parents are not psychopaths."

Past LOP spoke. "If you two are going to fight, take it somewhere else. Preferably near a hospital, so that Dan can have treatment, especially if you use poison 17."

Past Ian grimaced. "That won't be necessary. I was _just_ leaving." With that, he spun on his heel and walked out the door. Past Dan sat down heavily, his chin in his hands. Past LOP sat next to him.

"I just wish that for once, I could beat him. It's always the other way around. _Always_." Past Dan sighed.

"I believe I can help you with that. I'll get Ian. Come to this address at midnight. I'll see you there." Past LOP said.

Present LOP pressed the fast forward button. "Well, now we are caught up. Ian, get ready to get pummeled. Dan, get ready to, err, do the pummeling."

Ian looked like he was ready to commit suicide. Dan, however, looked ecstatic. They were back in the room by now, so LOP went back in the observation room with Amy and Natalie. "Doors, lock." The doors locked, and Ian stood in the middle of the room. The light went out, and nothing was visible. Ian had requested to still have his dignity, and LOP had some mercy.

A battle cry was heard, as well as cloth ripping, punches, kicks, and plenty of, "OWS!" "OOF"'s and, LOP's personal favorite, "MUMMY!" The sounds finally stopped, and Dan's voice rang out.

"I'm done now. You might want to get him to a medic." LOP turned the light on, and then stared at Ian, who was lying on the floor, not moving at all. She stifled a giggle, and then unlocked the doors.

"Good thing I brought a paramedic in beforehand. Toby!" LOP called. "Get in there and make sure he's not dead, please." Dan walked into the observation room. Natalie stared at him in horror.

"And I thought that ninja cover was simply a joke, Daniel!" She said, aghast.

"One, it's Dan. Two, then you must commit seppuku. Three, goodbye."

And with that, Dan and Amy walked out of the room, leaving LOP and Natalie to watch the paramedic try to fix Ian's mangled body.

"Clear!"


End file.
